As a father to what extent do we give? The more I learn as a father the more I see as a man. I don't know if I could have really understood the sacrifices my own father made had I not become one myself. I mean this on many different levels as having somebody that YOU are responsible for really changes perspective on life. A life lived up to that point solely for you. For me it was the first time I really got to see a part of me. This was my son and I was his father and it would be this way for the rest of our lives.
As a man to what extent does our fatherhood reflect on our manhood? Does it really take a man to raise a boy? I personally don't know. I would have ask then... who was ready to be a father. Trick question as no man is ready to be a father. Only when you see you do began to realize that it is the most unique experience a man will ever have. This is when all of your self-serving planning has been deemed useless. All of the motivation you once had for self sustaining reasons have now changed direction. You are a father.
Vital information for Fathers that want it
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
A FATHER AND SON CREATING AND CULTIVATING A RELATIONSHIP
Well it's been a while but I'm back! I'm ready to write from a new perspective. I believe I'm in the transition phase of going from Cassius' Daddy to Cassius' father. The change itself is very interesting in itself as I have little or no control over it's progress or direction. I can just sense the the difference in values as time move on. The things that were once a high priority can now be demoted while things that were not a factor before suddenly not only matter but matter a great deal.
As a daddy me and my son did things together as a way of bonding. As a father we interact on more of a man to man level. As my son continues to grow in size so does his curiosity. The time is at hand where he must get the proper advice on how to be who he is to be when the time comes. As his father as a man I have an obligation to provide to the best of my ability these answers to satisfy his curiosity. Since the down side would be him finding out without me. As this world we live in is a cold place. It could easily wipe away my Cassius without a trace.
As I stated before things are very interesting as they change. I personally appreciate the parental perspective. Remembering the same time in life when the “shoe was on the other foot” so to speak is a very humbling yet helpful experience. This is the time we call our own parents and express the “full circle” of life as we can now both appreciate and relate to them as parents. Closure has been granted. The veil has been ripped away the bigger picture can now be viewed. As parents ourselves we understand now why own parents did the things they did. Which to use back then as kids made no sense. To one day have kids of your own and understand actions of your own parents could be defined as a definite point of maturity in life or simply payback!
As we interact and reciprocate from one another I truly believe that me and my son will develop a relationship that will culminate into the one thing I desire most with him, a friendship. As I already both know and take for granted that I am already both “hip and cool” I am simply waiting on him to catch up to the rhythm.
Friday, October 22, 2010
The diagnosing of America's Children
Do we really remember how we as children were raised. I'm speaking of the just this last generation, the 1950's. If you ever look at the old Television shows from that era they never refer to an out-of-control child or societal problems that have the child acting in such a disrespectful manner as to cause the parents concern. It seems that last generation was the last time everyone including the child knew it was wrong to be disrespectful. There were no exceptions or conditions in which we could slip through the cracks or challenge a stated fact. This is when children were children and adults were in control.
The most overlooked fact in today's society is that "it is not the job nor responsibility of the teacher to discipline your children". In theory (which worked for generations up until the 60's no less) your children arrived at school or any social function or event pre-trained, so to speak. nothing was interrupted as it is today because of discipline issue's. Children were seen not heard, there were however windows when the child would have the chance to express him/herself. This to was done in a respectful fashion usually with permission and a stage in which to express. This is not a temper tantrum where the parents have to actually bribe their children to get out of the store. Why is it that today's children are far more insistent than just a generation ago. I'll tell you why, they have been diagnosed and diagnosed and diagnosed and medicated and incorrectly assessed by our Psychologist and Psychiatrist and Physicians that they are pretty well doped-up to the point were they are being prepped for drug use and abuse at a young age. We all know for a fact that the doctors in our society have close knit ties with the pharmaceutical giants that benefit from all of their suggestions and recommendations based on their analysis of or your children. this is scary in itself. Who remembers the famous medical phrase of not too long ago; "I think I'll get a second opinion." Unfortunately in today's medical circles this same statement has become an insult instead of the comparative analysis value it once held. Doctor's now take a personal offense to the mere suggestion of a second opinion. They make it seem as if a second opinion would damage this strong, tight patient-doctor bond (that doesn't really exist) almost as if infidelity had occurred. This is what guilt's most parents into accepting the doctors suggestion of medications that can only treat the problem since it hereditary and cannot never be cured. A genetic disposition probably acquired from the parent that is not there! Is how the doctor's diagnose it in today's medical profession In reality you and your child are simply a product something that can be sold a problem as well as a cure. .
The diagnoses, I can tell you and I wasn't even there...It was some kind of deficiency or disorder right! That's because that is what every child in today's society is being diagnosed with. Attention deficit or Hyperactive something to the effect that it has to be treated in order for the child to remain a part of normal society. This is the hook since this is after all what the parent really want, a normal child it's the reason they are there in the first place. Just remember the only outlet for the pharmaceutical giants are doctor's and therapist. So chance s are if you visit a Doctor's office you will be prescribed something.
The real solution...in conclusion the only way to cure any disorder of this nature is to understand the nature of the child not the disorder or the lack of. We all know and understand that that a child will go through their terrible two's. A period in which they learn the demanding nature of the human intellect. When they literally learn to be bad. This is key, this is also the most crucial point in the discipline process since this is were they learn for the first time also what boundaries mean. I mean did you ever see children two and three years old being pushed around in strollers as we do today a generation ago? Set boundaries that your children cannot cross period. Give fair and stern warning as to when things are both going to begin as well as come to an end. I mean reinforce in a child's mind things like "when you turn two your going to have to give up the pacifier". Prepare your children for change don't lie to them or hide the truth they will always resent you for it later. We all as parents seem to forget that one day our own kids will have kids! So be honest and up front in how you deal with your children and you will receive the same in return, for the most part. Explain things to your children not only what they mean but also how they relate in society. Place value on valuable things teach your children about the things that matter most in our society such as financial responsibility, importance of education and so on. A crystal ball would be a very appropriate gift for parents, at least this way we would get to see we were dealing with future adults and the old-fashioned way did work and still does!
The most overlooked fact in today's society is that "it is not the job nor responsibility of the teacher to discipline your children". In theory (which worked for generations up until the 60's no less) your children arrived at school or any social function or event pre-trained, so to speak. nothing was interrupted as it is today because of discipline issue's. Children were seen not heard, there were however windows when the child would have the chance to express him/herself. This to was done in a respectful fashion usually with permission and a stage in which to express. This is not a temper tantrum where the parents have to actually bribe their children to get out of the store. Why is it that today's children are far more insistent than just a generation ago. I'll tell you why, they have been diagnosed and diagnosed and diagnosed and medicated and incorrectly assessed by our Psychologist and Psychiatrist and Physicians that they are pretty well doped-up to the point were they are being prepped for drug use and abuse at a young age. We all know for a fact that the doctors in our society have close knit ties with the pharmaceutical giants that benefit from all of their suggestions and recommendations based on their analysis of or your children. this is scary in itself. Who remembers the famous medical phrase of not too long ago; "I think I'll get a second opinion." Unfortunately in today's medical circles this same statement has become an insult instead of the comparative analysis value it once held. Doctor's now take a personal offense to the mere suggestion of a second opinion. They make it seem as if a second opinion would damage this strong, tight patient-doctor bond (that doesn't really exist) almost as if infidelity had occurred. This is what guilt's most parents into accepting the doctors suggestion of medications that can only treat the problem since it hereditary and cannot never be cured. A genetic disposition probably acquired from the parent that is not there! Is how the doctor's diagnose it in today's medical profession In reality you and your child are simply a product something that can be sold a problem as well as a cure. .
The diagnoses, I can tell you and I wasn't even there...It was some kind of deficiency or disorder right! That's because that is what every child in today's society is being diagnosed with. Attention deficit or Hyperactive something to the effect that it has to be treated in order for the child to remain a part of normal society. This is the hook since this is after all what the parent really want, a normal child it's the reason they are there in the first place. Just remember the only outlet for the pharmaceutical giants are doctor's and therapist. So chance s are if you visit a Doctor's office you will be prescribed something.
The real solution...in conclusion the only way to cure any disorder of this nature is to understand the nature of the child not the disorder or the lack of. We all know and understand that that a child will go through their terrible two's. A period in which they learn the demanding nature of the human intellect. When they literally learn to be bad. This is key, this is also the most crucial point in the discipline process since this is were they learn for the first time also what boundaries mean. I mean did you ever see children two and three years old being pushed around in strollers as we do today a generation ago? Set boundaries that your children cannot cross period. Give fair and stern warning as to when things are both going to begin as well as come to an end. I mean reinforce in a child's mind things like "when you turn two your going to have to give up the pacifier". Prepare your children for change don't lie to them or hide the truth they will always resent you for it later. We all as parents seem to forget that one day our own kids will have kids! So be honest and up front in how you deal with your children and you will receive the same in return, for the most part. Explain things to your children not only what they mean but also how they relate in society. Place value on valuable things teach your children about the things that matter most in our society such as financial responsibility, importance of education and so on. A crystal ball would be a very appropriate gift for parents, at least this way we would get to see we were dealing with future adults and the old-fashioned way did work and still does!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)